I don't know how come. I'm in the oddest mood. What's new right? Its a mix of feeling happy and sad at the same time, and the combination is just overwhelming. Takes the air outta me, and all I wanna do is sit and stare at "it" and read it over and over again. I don't know why i get like this every time, maybe I should have just settled with good enough. Can't a girl want more than she can get?
I won't reveal what "it" is, its just eating me from the inside. Even as I sit here the words fail to come from my mind to my hands. I wanna scream out loud and get it out of my system, but at the same time all I'm presented with is silence. I wish, I wish, I wish...don't we all.
My friends would say I should just kick myself in the butt and get over it. Believe me I've tried, now i've proven how miserably i've failed. Dammit, I sound like i'm getting all depressive again just like my entries in my last blog. I swore that when I started this new one I'd stop all that. Guess some things never do change, no matter how hard you try. Maybe its the way my blog name links to it that sorta connects it for an indefinite period of time. I apologize, I've been talking to myself.
Have you ever thought about something so much it makes you numb, tears and laughter are the furthest things away from you even though its there right at the very tip? I wanna laugh cuz its so cynically ironic and stupid, I wanna cry cuz the very thought of it pains me.
"Things always happen for a reason."
Fuck that. Pfft. Who gives a shit about reason anymore.
23 August 2005
Twiddle dee, Twiddle dum
Posted by
Cup That Cake
3:15 PM
you're hung up on the heart. no one ever stops loving and even if you felt that pure feeling of love for even just ten mins, or even a second. that feeling that two ppl have, that connection, that chemistry(so to say). you'll nv be able to let go. i am one who truely believes in that and tell you that you're never gonna be able to let that go. and i nv want you to.
for love, and true feelings for another shld nv be changed or replace. it's the decision of the heart that beats all things, choices and decisions.
for one to know that love again, might take eternity and i hope if you let go one day. you don't look back and regret. for as someone says, life's too short for us to regret. and making the difference is to be able to walk away from that and start a new. but always always remember that feeling you have once touch, for that alone is priceless and worth being happy and sad at the same time