Un
Deux
Trois
Quarte
Cinq
Sis
Sept
Huit
NeufMe: Are you watching the Mardi Gras?
Dad: Ya, why?
Me: Why are you watching the Mardi Gras?
Dad: What's wrong with watching Mardi Gras? Isn't it like a festival? Nice what.
Me: Yes, but this is the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras.
Dad: Huh? No what.
Commentator: ".......in support of the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras........"
Dad: Argh! I don't want to watch this rubbish. *click*
I remember having a conversation with someone and she asked if I knew where to go to roll down the hill in a big bouncy bubble thing. For the life of me I cannot remember who someone is, and whether this person is from Australia or Singapore. I was watching a show online and came across said "big bouncy bubble thing". This activity that requires you to bounce down a hill is called "Zorbing".
I think there are a few different kinds. The one above has water on the inside and you're kinda free to roll around on the inside, which to me = OUCH. The other kind you're strapped in and you have to hold on to these grips. Both sound just as dizzyfying.
I remember seeing this for the first times years ago on tv and I thought that it was the worst thing you could do to yourself. This of course came from the girl who thought rollercoaster rides were a nightmare, plus I'm claustrophobic. The latter still exists but I'm up for a thrill or two these days and I can't wait to try it out!
The one in Singapore is called ZOVbing. Don't ask me why. Apparently they've got super cool ones that allow you to "walk on water". Like so:
I checked out the prices, all set in my mind that I was gonna organise this wayyyy cool outing for my friends and I. That's where things come to a halt. What do you mean I have to pay $50 for 2 rolls? TWO damn miserable rolls down the hill, of which I still have to physically climb up after a massive roll down?
You know, it is free to roll down a hill - without a big bouncy bubble thing. It is just as dizzyfying. I think I will stick to that.
I saw these babies in the shops today. It screamed at me from the glass display, each one vying for my undivided attention. Guess what? It sure got my attention. And my sister's.
Prettyyyyy colours! I can barely decided which I want because I want them ALL!
Can someone bring Santa in early please?
Every time I go for to the beach, a picnic or a barbeque, it is essential to have music to set the tone, otherwise it's just plain boring. And with me I bring around my ever-so-trusted "box" that plays my tunes AND keeps my iPhone safe from the sun, sand and wind. Someone is always bound to ask me "Where did you get that??". That refers to this:
The radio looking thing with the knobs, not the apple core, silly. Isn't it the cutest thing in the world?!
I saw someone else with it when I was at the beach once, and I thought it was the coolest retro looking radio ever. Then I got a surprise when she opened it up like a tupperware container! See that little flap looking thing at the side? There's one on the top and on each side, it opens up and inside is where you connect your iPod. It also connects discmans and walkmans but since I doubt anyone in this day and age still uses one, let's move on.
I LOVE it sooooo much cuz my dearest iPhone is protected when I'm at the beach and don't have to worry about the sand. Everyone always asks me where I got it, so here is where you can get it. The place I originally got it from doesn't sell it anymore.
It has FM and AM radio too and the volume goes up pretty loud, unlike those other speakers that don't do shit when you're outdoors. I know it's not Bose, but you also don't have to pay Bose money for it.
I just wanna share some other cool stuff I came across:
This is awesome if you work at an office and someone always nicks your mug and you can never find it when you're in bad need of a cuppa!
OMG. A commando rubber band gun! Imagine if you had this when you were a kid, you would have been GOD. Terrorising the streets with your rubber bands without having to worry about shooting yourself in the eye.
I WANT.
You can find them at latestbuy.com.au. They've got a heap of awesome stuff there you always wished existed. Gotta love it.
I was blog cruising the other day and came upon one that I can't stop reading. Some of you may have seen part of it in the previous post about Victoria's Secret in Singapore. Megan's not famous (I don't think), and I doubt she earns much from blogging, but I love her point of view on things. She's an American who is/was trying to adapt to life in Singapore and the way our extremely bizarre society works.
Her take on things are a humourously accurate portrayal of life on that eccentric island a lot of us call home.
Because I am such a fan, I kept reading "older posts" to keep myself entertained and try not to feel like too much of an online stalker. What? Blogs are meant to be read. I came upon this one post that was super wordy which made me wanna stop reading, but upon skimming through the short bullet points, I realised how hilarious the post was. I started from the beginning and laughed my ass off till there was no more (yeah right).
I HAD to share this with you. Too funny.
Here's an excerpt if too many words turn you off and you decide to skip it:
"- The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and I instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart."
You cannot tell me this has NEVER occurred to you before. Too true. Too funny.
-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
-I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
-There is a great need for sarcasm font.
-Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I first saw it.
-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
- A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
- LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and I instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
- Bad decisions make good stories
-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
- Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
-When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
-My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
-It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
Oh. My. God. Imagine my excitement when I was blog surfing and came upon a post that showed photos of the phenomenal lingerie store in Singapore!
I have been DYING to entire one of these stores since I first put one of their bras on, and as I scrolled through the photos, I was imagining myself in bra heaven. No more hoping that something would fit, no more huge shipping fees!
Alas, my happiness was short-lived.
I had to do a double-bloody-take. "THERE IS NOT ONE BRA TO BE SEEN ANYWHERE"?? Erm, HELLO! Victoria's Secret was introduced as, I quote, "The famous lingerie retailer". Lingerie - women's underwear. Underwear = knickers and BRAS. Do you understand?? Clearly the person who opened VS in Singapore thought up this sick joke to taunt and tease us poor women.
Look, I can live without the VS luggage tags, pyjama tops and bottoms, or those bloody keychains. The bras, which are paramount to most women, are a complete necessity.
Pfft.
For those still interested, Victoria's Secret store in Singapore is located in the Singapore Resort World, or the IR (see previous post) or something or other.
Singapore is becoming the "IT" place to be, no I don't mean IT as in I-T. I mean "it". The casino has opened it's door and we can now be the gambling hub of SEA. Although I don't think locals are encouraged at all to gamble.
Seriously, we have all sorts of casinos in the world that have wayyy better names than that. In Australia alone -Burswood, Star Casino, the list goes on. In Singapore, you have to say you are going to IR. Sorry? U-R going to I-R?
Burswood - Perth
Star City - SydneyHappy New Year! It's the year of the tiger according to the Chinese calender - a year that many people presumably avoid getting hitched or giving birth, because well you gotta admit, the tiger can be one helluva scary animal.
Most people believe those born in the year of the tiger are extremely fierce and bad tempered people. I cannot agree more. I know of only one person who is born in the year of the tiger and that would be mummy dearest. And hoo-boy did she (still does) have a temper. We fought like cats and dogs when I was growing up, or tiger and rat in our case and still have that occasional verbal disagreement that hits high decibels.
Apparently, the ideal job for those born in the year of the Tiger includes the following:
Entrepreneur, Military officer, Politician, Musician, Writer, Poet, Designer, Theatre director, Stockbroker, Athlete, Film star, Trade union leader, Company director, Stunt person, Explorer, Teacher.
Pretty accurate, mom WAS one of those.....but you can be sure she was far from being a musician or designer, let alone a stunt person. Hehehe.
So anyway, to all of you out there, Happy New Year and may the year ahead be a prosperous and healthy one. 我希望大家回有个新年快乐！共喜发财，身体建康，年年有鱼！
Today I baked my 2nd official batch of chocolate cupcakes. I say official because I actually got paid for it. For $2.50 per cupcake, I make just enough to cover cost and enjoy a small little profit, coffee perhaps? I guess it's harder when I'm not buying supplies at cost. I'm happy to bake though, I'm delighted when I see the expression on a person's face after they've taken that first bite.
They are plain and simple chocolate cupcakes, but made with the highest quality chocolate ever. They are wayyyy too delish to resist, every now and then I pop one in my mouth. My excuse is I need to do a taste test. :) I finally got off my lazy ass to take photos.
My dearest friends Daniel and Sarah are my best supporters (not that the rest of you don't count). I gave them a batch of cupcakes, just for the hell of because I love baking. They loved it so much they started promoting my cupcakes for me. So far, they are my best customers too! These cupcakes were made for Sarah's sis-in-law who's birthday happens to fall on Valentine's Day. Apparently she raves about my cupcakes and had to have them for her birthday. Thank you for your support guys! You are legendary!
The following photos are just some other cupcakes I've baked. I apologise the photos aren't all that great, I just couldn't be bothered after a long day of baking.
Oreo cupcakes with homemade liquid marshmallow icing!
Vegan cupcakes for the niece who is allergic to eggs and nuts. She ate them all but I thought they were putrid and lacked complete taste. I'm a chocolate snob!
I've tried so many flavours and I've got more to go...suggestions anyone? You can be my guinea pigs and be my tasters. :)
This is seriously the funniest shit I have ever watched! Ken Lee.....
Is this really what English sounds like to non-Native English speakers?
She's much better in the 2nd video, kudos to her for practicing really.
Give it up for KEN LEE!
Just when you thought people couldn't get any weirder......someone goes and names their child:
Ooooh! Most people will say she's SMOKING HOT, and I have to agree, she most definitely is. Despite previous rumours that Megan Fox was a hermaphrodite or tranny, I think they have been put to rest now. I was pretty shocked when I heard that and honestly, I wouldn't have been surprised. I would have like the number of her plastic surgeon if that were the case. Hehehe.
Everyone loves the Transformers star, but I still think it was extremely peculiar that she was running around in the dessert being chased by killer robot aliens in WHITE JEANS. Look I know she's hot and all that, but get real!
Anyway, here she is in an ad for the Superbowl. I'll take the advert, but I still won't buy the phone.
I was looking through all my old blog posts, being somewhat hardworking and typing out labels for each post when I came across a post I never wrote. I read the title and I was astounded as to what it meant.
"you've got Butter face, so i'll ride you like a bronco" - this was dated a longgg time ago.
I re-read it about 10 times, trying to search through the timeline of my brain to when I decided to come up with such a ridiculous title. I didn't even know what butter face is, I had to google it to be clear of my own blog post title! Ludicrous!
So after easy googling (which is my answer to everything by the way), this was my answer:
I swear I almost fell off my chair. Holy crap! If you thought that was bad, check this out:
*image taken from www.crazy-jokes.com*
I don't know, but if you ask me, Lady Gaga has butter face.
Okay maybe not as terrible as the first two but you get my drift.
I think Lady Gaga might be the only one I'll choose to ride like a bronco. Go figure. No wonder that post was left blank never to be touched again.
In a very bizarre moment, I was re-enlightened into the Blog world, suddenly hit with a burning passion to revive my blog. I stopped writing because 1) I was lazy, 2) I didn't think anyone was actually reading it, 3) I couldn't think of anything interesting to write. What I didn't realise was number 2 happened because I stopped bloody updating! D'oh?
Everytime inspiration to blog hits an all time low, I decide to change my blog layout and search for hip new skins that are a surefire way to relight my blogging fire. Admittedly, the last pink one was a definite stretch. Pink is so not my colour. Sorta like this:
But okay, the Harajuku ad by Gwen Stefani is actually quite nice. But that's as far as I'll go.
Wild-incantations was in dire need of something new and something fresh, therefore this blog layout. Some say it's a little too simplistic, but I say it's structured. There's nothing I hate more than blogs full of crap in their side bars and what not. Worse than a messy blog are blogs that play shit music the moment you enter. So fear not there will be no background music added here. I kinda like this new skin, it's fresh and easy to navigate. What do you think?
It took me to hell and back trying to edit the html for it to customise it all, but I did it. I have declared myself a HTML GENIUS! On top of that, I managed to somehow translate the Spanish the html codes were written in, with the help of Google Translator of course.
There are lots of sites and articles on how to better your blog, how to increase traffic etc etc.....most of it is pretty obvious, others I had to learn about. This guy Seth wrote 56 tips to get more traffic to your blog.
Helpful or not? You decide. For example, No. 32 - Write about Google.
Google google google google. Google's awesome! It's the answer for everything!
Okay so that's one strike off the list. Next up, No. 38 - Write about blogging. Refer to first paragraph, check!
No. 41 - Post on weekdays, because there are more readers. Also check! Hey, it seems I've got this blogging thing down to a pat! I've crossed out 3 out of 56 on the list, it can only get better right?
So tadah!
Ok, now where's my money for blogging and who's gonna give it to me?
Since the beginning of mankind, infidelity has always been an issue, where (mostly) men are not able to keep their pee pees in their pants and maintain monogamous with the woman they promised to be. Call it what you will - adultery, liason, affair, cheating, the bottom line remains the same. Perhaps in the early days of civilisation, it wasn't treated as much of a big deal. Women had no say in matters concerning anything other than that of their womanly duties like cooking, sewing and looking after their children. Their husbands could go of to the community whorehouse while the women picked them off the floor when they got home in a retarded drunken state.
Wham, bang, thank you mam, and a few thousand dollars later, they're off back to their wives.
Today however, men are a little bit smarter (or not) when it comes to sticking it where they will. There is currently a sexual scandal saga going around with the popular men of sport, and it seems we are all far too interested in what goes on in their personal lives. It all started with this man:
*photo courtesy of www.mediaswirl.com*
One of the greatest golfing legends of our time, he won so many tours and championships from such a young age, his talent and skills are hard to dismiss. I will admit he was my biggest idol when I picked up golf. I was so in awe of him, he was all I thought about when I on the course. I would chant "Tiger Woods Tiger Woods Tiger Woods" in my head before I tee-ed off, amazingly enough, I always hit a good ball when I chanted his name. In my eyes, he was THE Golf God. And you know what? He still is.
Things took an about turn when Tiger Woods met with some sort of an accident. It went from utter concern for the golfing legend as to whether he was hurt, to rumours that his wife swung at him with a golf club, to a series of sexcapades with multiple women. Concern went straight down the drain and sure enough, people were hurling insults at him from every direction. That included people who probably didn't give two hoots about Tiger and his golfing career. But oh no, stick your weiner where it don't belong and the world will get on your back.
Seriously, who gives a flying fuck? Sure he slept with around 15 women or so, not including his wife. Sure, he portrays himself as this family man who loves his wife and kids, and that is how the "Tiger Woods" brand is advertised. Which is therefore how he got his sponsors and in turn, a part of all his richness and moneyness.
If you look closely though, the adverts and all that jazz has NOTHING to do with his life as husband and father. Most and almost all adverts has him with a GOLF CLUB, not him hugging his wife or child.
Did his wife, by marrying him, give him the talent to balance a golf ball like that? No. Did his child? No. Did the public? No.
Did we personally take a cut of our pay for him to have the millions that he has? No. Was taxpayers money the result of his talent and skills? No.
I rest my case.
Just cuz we know of who he is does not mean we know who he is. He wants to screw all the other hot women in the world and cheat on his wife, who cares? It's his personal life and although I will agree it is absolutely disgusting, who are we to judge? Would you like to be awesomely great at something where people adore you, but have them also dig right to the very roots of your life? I didn't think so. It might come with the territory, but it doesn't mean we have to uphold it.
So after this whole Tiger saga comes this:
Unless you are a bit of a soccer fan, or pro England football, you might or might not recognise this man. John Terry, now former captain of the English Football team, recently fired as captain because he "poked" a team mate's ex-girlfriend. You might recognise him more with this photo:
I can't really be bothered to go into much detail, if you wanna know more you can read it here. Whatever it is, supposedly Terry paid off Perroncel to keep things mum. Of course that wouldn't work, otherwise he wouldn't be stripped of his Captaincy.
Terry and Woods have been highlights of both television and print news since Tiger was in his accident, surely there are more important things for us to focus our tiny brains on. Like the breaking news of Australian street performer, Chayne Hultgren, set the record today and swallowed 18 72 cm swords at the same time.
*Photo by AAP, taken from 7 news website*
Don't we love the news today?
In what seems like eternity, I am back to this blog once again. Time passed and you hardly realise 5 years has gone by since something started, and that thing of course, is this blog. Wild Incantations started when University began for me. It was a personal outlet for me to rant, whinge and bitch all I wanted about anything that occurred to me. As the years went by, it seemed to become more of a place where I posted more personal stuff like photographs etc. How times change things. Another year another wrinkle I supposed.
I'd like to think that I've grown some, or maybe a lot. Life has kicked me up and down in the last couple of years, I believe I've come out of it a lot stronger, if not a little more cynical about the world. It's almost hard to believe I used to be a happy-go-lucky kinda girl. I always saw the positive in everything, and at the end of the day, the sun would always be shining. Wahaha. Not anymore. I'm digging my toes in the sand though, and trying hard to evade this hole of negativity. Oops?
I believe most people have dropped off reading this blog but oh well, persevere I shall! Hopefully at some point intellect kicks in and I actually have something proper to blog about. Everything in it's time.
But for now, as always, I shall leave you more photographs!
Location: Foreshores, South Perth
Occasion: Dotty's Birthday (she joined the old club)
Mood: Absolutely raving mad
People involved: Everyone we know plus some.
Theme: Quirky
Let me start by introducing a few of the event's characters to you:
First up we have VIP of the day: Cherry Pop-a-Lot
Clint the Pimp
Pippy No-long-stockings
Retro Girl
The rest included Shrekess (which sounded like Shrek ass), Mr Dorothy the Dinosaur and the English Tiger (?). No one else bothered to dress up all cool like us really.
We try our darnest to be normal - I swear...
... but where's the fun in that?? Grrrr!
And with almost anything these days, an album of photos are NEVER complete without having some jumping shots chucked in there. As you scroll, you will view a series of (failed and successful) jump shots. In my opinion, the men's jump shots were classified as "Epic Fail!".
The Girls - Don't mind my rising dress, no choice in the matter really.
Amy reckons she's looks a bit...erm...spaz.
The boys' completely failed attempt
Success! (This was after a few tries mind you)
All I can say is, we were trying to be creative.
You can't have a birthday without a cake (I did, twice, but who's counting). Lucky Dot had THREE. Well more if you count each cupcake I made.
Cake numero Uno - gotta love the sparklers
Cake numero dos - home made cupcakes made with LOVE!
All for you DOT! :)
