I can't be bothered with what people think about people who blog, I don't care about nasty comments under anonymity anymore. It doesn't matter. It's absolutely unimportant & people are bound to have opinions, just like I do. So that will be the last of all that...I've seen the stupity of it all, my stupidity. I have more important things to think about, better things to do.
Goodbyes are never easy, and I will forever detest them. It hurts when you never know when you'll see the person again, you may never. Bonds and connections between people can develop so easily even in a small amount of time. Relationships are built based on friendship, something that is mutually exclusive with each person and can never be replaced. They always say true friends are hard to find, I suppose some of them may be on the other side of the world is why.
Come November I would have the "honour" of sending all my friends off, unbeknown to all of us when the next time we meet will be. Two goodbyes down, too many more to go. The vicious cyle of making new friends will start again at the start of a new semester. Its too tiring, sometimes too superficial. Perhaps its better to stick to myself.
I hate goodbyes. They can be forever.
Cast your eyes upon these shadows,
The shadows of doubt and gloom.
Decapitate their presence into the open meadows,
And let the flowers of ecstasy bloom.
29 September 2005
27 September 2005
No, I have not disappeared. Nothing exciting has happened lately, nothing in my mind that I'm dying to share. That's what happen when I'm on a break, my mind goes blank. I have, however, been all but silent. I've been contributing my words in another blog. Yes, stirring up shit where I might not belong.. I find it somewhat amusing though, and the original blogger doesn't seem to mind, so there.
I must say I only really stir up shit when I get anonymous comments, its so bloody annoying doncha think? In particular I'm referring to those who leave nasty comments under anonymity. Can someone kindly explain to me the point of that? If the person isn't afraid, then why remain anonymous and be nasty? I dunch understand!
"Anonymous" told me that blogs are there because "you wanted the attention, that's the entire reasoning of blogging. if not, just go write in a diary and burn it thereafter."
I absolutely disagree but I'm too tired to go think too much about it. I'd like to ask you what your reasons for blogging is? I know Sean a.k.a Van Helsing is an avid blogger too, so what's your reasons Sean? Just want some insight is all. Cuz i know for sure writing in a diary is much different from a blog. And who burns their diaries anyway? Retard. As it is I would be quite upset if my entire blog was wiped out.
To all other commenters, I really do appreciate hearing from you each time I have an entry. Nice to hear from you guys, and thank you for not remaining anonymous.
19 September 2005
...or what ever you may call it. Who would have thought online journals could cause the emergence of even more politics and the eruption of negative opinions from others, the creation of "Blogger Awards" and all other majigs out there to do with the blogging world. I see it merely as another form through which I can vent my thoughts out and perhaps share them with those who care. Not to gain any form of popularity, or to be part of an "in" thing so as to be seen as cool.
It also is a good way to meet people who share similar thoughts as you, have impressive writing styles, or to be connected to someone else in a somewhat personal way without having to meet that person. I've met some wonderful people and learnt quite a bit on the different sides of the human mind, different perspectives. Writing is more often more in-depth and personal, you almost feel like you know the person. Its quite a learning process.
Being down under, it keeps my friends updated on my lives and the friendship doesn't become so isolated. What I don't agree with however, is people coming into blogs and leaving negative comments, or violently disagreeing with what a person has written so much so it becomes a confrontation. True that there is hardly any privacy to an online journal, we are all vulnerable in that sense. Yet we are all allowed to express our opinions whichever way we choose without having to be critically discriminated against or worry about someone else's expectation of us. Some may say we are free to write, so they are free to comment.
But really, if you don't like it, DON'T READ IT. Simple as that. Unless there's some warped attraction from you to the blog of a person you dislike, I must say you're just a plain busybody who is interested in other people's lives for the mere sake of gossip and for the feel of authority against others. Pfft. All you know is sardonic indulgence in another's life, maybe because you don't have one of your own. And those who leave "anonymous" comments, hiding behind anonymity will get you no where. Get an identity....Get. A. Life.
There is no need for us "bloggers" to be taunted about what people may think of our thoughts and opinions, we are all entitled to it. (except when its racist remarks that get you thrown into jail, then you might want to think twice about commenting)
The End.
17 September 2005
Funny how I write an almost and somewhat intellectual blog entry & I received more comments than ever. I guess that proves a point - intellectuality attracts. Haha. My own warped perception, but I'm sorry, my brain isn't powerful enough to constantly write such in-depth "articles". I may be an aspiring journalist, but the mind gets too knackered once in a while.
Reading the comments made me realize people actually do have questions settled somewhere in the back of their minds, the only problem is, they don't voice it out. Either by pure laziness or living by the statement "ignorance is bliss". I don't know how they get by. It cheeses me off that people have no opinions of their own, they take a stand on the side everyone is on...in other words, thoughts and opinions merge together and flow as one. That is the way society works, it is the mold in which we all conform to, to become "us" - society.
We are not what creates the boundaries and characteristics of society, society is what creates us and in turn decides what we can or cannot do, what is right and/or wrong. Agreed or disagreed?
I'm trying hard not to turn this into some sort of a political debate, its a direction that I would want to deter from. It's complicated and its not my thing.
How many of us when in school were encouraged to raise our hands to ask questions out of the ordinary? How many of us saw our teachers fumbling for the (politically) correct answers when we did? How many of us actually thought of such questions and truly sought an answer? I for one knew that keeping quiet was somehow the better solution. Solution to what I am not sure, but I just felt that was what was expected. Quite sure i wasn't the only one.
The point to this is - we're not taught to speak up for what we believe in, neither encouraged nor discouraged. But have an opinion that differs so greatly from the majority makes you stick out like a sore thumb, so you'd have to choose to go with the flow, or pay the price. Freedom of speech is but a mere facade that fades away as you approach its reality. There is no such thing as freedom of speech. And in this technology era we live in, privacy hardly exists. We're constantly being watched. But that is another story for another time...
14 September 2005
How and why - have you ever asked those two questions to certain things unexplainable by pure science, or are you like every other person who lives satisfactorily with the explanation given by others? Its a wonder how as kids we ask questions to things that may seem so simple now, like why the sky is blue, why a dog barks and cat meows, or how babies come about. As adults we tend to get slightly annoyed when such questions are constantly asked when the answers seem so obvious. We stop asking these questions as we grow older and learn to adapt and accept. Why is that?
Children see things in a different light, and every thing presented to them is new & unknown. Shouldn't we always ask questions to even the obvious, seek different answers, because nothing is ever definite. Science proves certain things, but is there more to the answers than science can offer us?
Many leave their doubts to the reasoning of things being God's great creations, yet the one question on my mind remains - if God created us and all other beings, then who created God? The only answer i can think of is that he always existed. But something can't possibly come out of nothing. Now don't get me wrong, I am not questioning religious beliefs or anything of the sort, I am simply unsatisfied with the answers provided to us and to simply live with it. There is more to life and its meaning. We all have a purpose, yet how will we ever know what that is?
Fate - what is it and to what extent do you leave your life to it? I believe perhaps some fate or luck, as some may call it, plays a part in our lives. But then again, fate is what we make of it, or rather, our lives are. Our actions and decisions determine our fate, of course many other factors contribute too.
Is there life after death? Do souls really exist, is there really an immortal soul? Who knows what lies within heaven and hell, or if reincarnation truly exists? How many Gods are there or is there only one of whom we are all created by? Is what we see before us through the human eye all that it is - a television, a computer, a flower or a fruit? How does it come about and what is beyond its creation? Is its purpose merely for watching shows, for consumption and the like? Think about it.
So my question to you is, do you simply live your life as is, accept that we are born to live for the purpose of survival till death, feel that survival is of utmost importance, so much so that there isn't a need to think about what is beyond us? Are you still as child who always asks questions, or have you become a grown up who has learnt to adapt to the world and its surroundings?
11 September 2005
The sun was finally out today, we finally see the few signs of Spring that is a few days late. Still pretty much feels like winter, we're all hoping the weather is changing for the better. We "Culture girls" went to watch a play yesterday, totally hilarious although most of the jokes were British humour. Made me feel dumb when everyone was laughing and I wasn't. Went to the Hip-E Club after that, free entrance and got a VIP chop to get in. It was good until we kinda figured out it was a gay bar, or bisexual, whatever you wanna call it.
There were guys standing around us (5 girls) looking at us, but funnily not hitting on us. That kinda let us in on the place we were in, dykes and all. Its quite depressing when we saw a really hot guy who turns out to be gay. Damn. Ok i know i sound a lil ditsy and bimbotic right now, bare with me. Woke up early to go get groceries for Sunday Brunch, quite a big hit. All the food was wiped out, and Ramone the birthday boy was very appreciative. -phew- Hit the beach after and now its time for studies. damn. gotta get into the mood. Its not coming anytime soon.
A friend ask me a question that really hit me hard, "Is it better to know or is it better not to know?" When you feel like life suddenly has no meaning, and you know when your time is up, would you rather know? The heart-wrenching details could eat you from inside, yet its too difficult to live in obliviance. Would you spend whatever time you have left enjoying your life, or wallowing in self-pity? Its a hard question, and its showed me how blessed I am to have the life i'm leading.
All my problems suddenly seem so minute compared to the people I've met. My parents pay for my school fees, I live rent free, give me allowance...life is a breeze other than having to study my ass off. I guess most of us from Singapore actually have it pretty good. We're sheltered, we're protected and provided for. Most of us at least. Shouldn't we just be content and count our blessings, rather than blame in home human nature that we're never completely satisfied?
04 September 2005
Khai & Drey made their way back to Singapore today, an almost tearful departure. It was hard to keep my tears back and say goodbye once again to my dear friends. This week passed so quickly, faster than I wished. It was good having them around, a blessing to have my friends spend time with me. They saw my life here, met my family, and chilled with my friends. The Aussie Life. I miss them already.
To you both, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for coming here for me to spend my 21st birthday. Its the best birthday present you could ever give me, your presence warmth my soul. It wouldn't have been the same without your company & I am so grateful you took all that effort to be here. I do hope the trip was eventful for you. The memories of that one week will always be imprinted in my mind, photographs that are picture perfect. I'm so glad you got a chance to see my life here and share it with me. I miss you already even though you've left for 4 hours. Thank you sweeties.. Love ya always.
Its been quite an awesome week, however tiring and time consuming. Now the week's coming to an end, its back to the books for me. School's starting to shift into 4th gear, presentations coming up and deadlines to meet. I definitely look forward to greeting October with a big smile, more Singaporean company I'd love to have. Could the time not pass any slower..
A bit nostalgic right now, emotional even. Goodbyes are never sweet, no matter how short the period. A friend once told me when I mentioned how I hate goodbyes and his reply was "Then we won't say goodbye". I suppose goodbyes aren't forever cuz memories always remain. It sounds easier to cope with than it really is. Come this November I would have to say goodbye to more people who have entered my life and heart. I guess that comes with the package of moving to another country, and living in different ones.
Meeting people from different walks of life, different cultures yet connected by one same thing. There is no discrimination, we are all the equal. Humans who view each other as just that - human. Where race is no issue, nor age or background. Its hard to find people who accept you purely for who you are, and i have had the honour of meeting more than one.
I'll go where the wind takes me and let the ship sail.
Carpe Diem - Seize the Day.
02 September 2005
Picture Perfect
Scotty & Me
before party
Uncle John, Christian & Aunty Trish
Family is Forever
Just a few shots from my birthday, there's a lot more but i guess i can't put them all up. I had a blast, friends got me pissed drunk & i puked my lagsagne out. I shall spare you the details. It really was one of the best birthdays yet. Haven't celebrated with my sister in such a long time, first time with the Marstons. It was quite the international party - Mimmi (Sweden), Malou (Denmark), Jennifer (American), Christian (Italian), and not forgetting the Aussies with a touch of Thai, Malay and Chinese. Absolutely brilliant. A party never to be forgotten.
I am now 21. I can now do the legal things even more legally.
