Where's the bottle of Xenax, or Prozac, or Valium, or even where's the weed? Anything at all, one of those you can consume to numb yourself almost immediately. A few hours is more than enough, and then the cycle starts again. When that runs out and no longer remains an option, maybe we could start looking for a blade or a wall too much? Oh wait, don't forget a good ol' bottle of whiskey or vodka. Something solid at least. Anything, anything at all that will take away the pain or overpower it. But no, no swallowing of a bottle of pills. I hate taking pills, plus the thought of getting my stomach pumped isn't too attractive.

Oh I've sidetracked from what I was originally going to say. Yes, one of those moments, I'm sure we've all had one of those at least twice in our lives. Where anything but what we're going through at that point in time seems so much better, even if it means more pain. I sound insane I know, but please, just let me continue my little rant here, I promise it won't be boring.

Perhaps different people have various ways of dealing with life's mundane and oh-so-horrible problems. I know a lot of my girlfriends turn to food - especially chocolate. I, unlike many girls out there, stop eating almost completely. I drink the occasional glass of water, cuppa coffee, munch a little on this, munch a little on that, and that's my meals for the day. There would be no way in hell I could keep anything inside me. Why not force myself? Because my stomach will be very unhappy and force everything out. And I don't like the sick feeling of needing to puke. I'm not a puker.

Some people turn to their friends and wail their bloody eyes out. I say, what is the bloody point? They're either gonna tell you what you already know, or what you don't want to know. Some of them might not even say anything because they don't know how to deal with a crying person! Of course there are those who are wallowing so much in their pain they don't even notice what the other is saying, or not saying. Who do you know who to turn to for which problems anyway? Do you go to the one who is most likely to tell you things you want to hear? Or do you go to the one who just sits and nods? Either way, they're not options for me.

But then again, it makes me feel like I have no friends.

Bah, I'm just rambling now. What is my point to all this? My point is, there is no point when it comes to someone who's of unstable state of mind and who has a blog of which she is clueless on who the readers are so she continues in her sentences trying to figure out where to put the fullstop. There. There again. And again.

So here it is. I am at the end of this rambling session for now, well this entry at least. Who knows I might just post another one in the next 5 mins or 5 hours.

ok bye.